Anthropomorphism

Written By: admin - Feb• 24•14

…or else typo.

pants!

I was actually thinking there’s a third option, and this could be a cutesy attempt by Lands’ End to brand their particular pants, since the company itself has an unusual (at least when it’s correct) apostrophe in its name. But you see that the second instance doesn’t have the apostrophe. So we’re back to Reporter #1′s guess:

I never knew pants could have a sale…

Fine print

Written By: admin - Feb• 21•14

First of all, I’d like to nitpick the financial argument being made here.

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Let’s suppose that a beverage costs a dollar. Why not advertise this as a breakfast for $5.99 instead of one that comes with a caveat? It’s weird.

Oh, and ALSO?

  1. ELLIPSES HAVE THREE DOTS. Not five, and not two (unless it’s on the way to three). Not seventeen. THREE.
  2. You’re missing an “a” there.
  3. ELLIPSES HAVE THREE DOTS. With no spaces between them, either. JUST THREE DOTS.

I’m not even sure that GrammarTroika Sister #2 was worried about the ellipses when she sent this in. But I am. I REALLY AM.

Thanks, GTS#2!

 

If you say it over and over it gets even funnier

Written By: admin - Feb• 19•14

From Reporter #1, this photo and a series of philosophical questions:

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Only if you’re named York? If you live in New York? What about Old York? Or just plain York?

York york york, Reporter #1.

Funny story…

Written By: admin - Feb• 17•14

So I had a backlog of submissions again (a tiny one! Send more pictures!) and was scrolling through my emails posting each submission as it came up. Kacia sent this picture, so I downloaded it, like a good little blog-facilitator.

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I don’t mind telling you that I spent a minute looking at this. I enlarged the picture. I squinted. I felt a little slow.

Then I noticed that the subject line in Kacia’s email had an ellipsis, like so: “This is a freezer case…”

And it occurred to me to see if the next email in my inbox STARTED with an ellipsis! And lo! It was so!

In fact, there was a whole explanatory paragraph!

…and its contents, which appear to have been labeled by someone who is unclear on the concept of what “live” means when applied to seafood. (I’ll give them a pass on the abbreviation of dungeon for dungeoness, since that’s fairly clear in context.)

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Whew!

TMI WTH?

Written By: admin - Feb• 14•14

From GTS#1, who says

Filling out some paperwork for my kiddo & found this very confusing. If there WEREN’T complications I should explain, but if there were, I shouldn’t?

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You did better than I did, GTS#1, just getting to that confusing point. I was stuck on whether “After delivery problem with your baby” was even a question, or if it was something more like a Mad Libs prompt. After delivery problem with your baby, you THREW the PIZZA out the PIANO.

Sweet.

Written By: admin - Feb• 12•14

I do think this one is sweet, actually, and not just because it deals with strawberries, which are always a good thing.

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The sweet part is the sign-maker’s concern for your well-being. You don’t want to get stuck in this shop trying strawberry sundaes forever, see. You just want to do it for a limited time.

As for the other… I can’t decide if it might have been improved by an apostrophe in “Sundaes,” and the fact that I’m even pondering that gives me hives.

ETA: Thanks to Chris H. for sending this in!

Priorities

Written By: admin - Feb• 10•14

Ever heard of  Reckitt Benckiser LLC?

I hadn’t either. But it turns out they’re a pretty big deal. Here are some blurbs from their investor information sheet:

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Okay, I put that last bullet in there.

Because one of their products is Mucinex, and aside from one of the grossest “mascots” ever, Mucinex has inflicted this on Kacia and the world:

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Can’t we just (make sure that) all (subjects and verbs) get along, Mucinex?

Thanks, Kacia!

Is consistency so much to ask for?

Written By: admin - Feb• 07•14

I just want rules, man. I don’t care so much what the rules are; I just want them to exist and command respect.

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Dave Barry once postulated that apostrophes were designed to alert us all to the fact that an “s” was coming up. I’m fine with that. Let’s do it. Let’s ju’st all do it con’si’stently.

Thank’s, GT’S#1!

Little kids eat ivy.

Written By: admin - Feb• 05•14

Apparently kids also exchange.

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Susan W.-in-DC (I realized I have two Susan W. friends!) found this on a list of corporate logo fails. It is indeed company policy; here’s the website:

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Thanks, Susan!

But how many did he hand out first?

Written By: admin - Feb• 03•14

That’s the real question, GTS#1. How many of these did your husband hand out before he caught it?

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(Yes, this has been heavily altered in Paint, but only to hide relevant info. You’ll just have to take my word for it that David’s company doesn’t have a creepy stretch-face as its logo!)