Keep dreaming.

Written By: admin - Jun• 19•15

Some of you guys, I just want to pat you on your heads or give you hugs, you know?

Poor Reporter #1 has been sending me lonely photos of comma splices for the last year. I hate a comma splice as much as the next person, but… we have to be realistic here, kids.

So Laura, I don’t know what to tell you about this one.

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You’re right, of course: one cannot be both 12 and under at the same time. But do you honestly want to take that up with the federal government? The same agency that’s insisting that my chapstick is a threat to flight security?

If you do, I’ll give you a nice hug first.

Trigger warnings. All of them.

Written By: admin - Jun• 12•15

…because this is gonna give y’all hives.

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I guess we could all imagine that this was designed by a very sarcastic employee who was taking dictation from her boss at the time. Right?

Thanks, GrammarTroika Sister #2!

Not delicious

Written By: admin - Jun• 03•15

This… doesn’t look tasty.

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In answer to your question, Grammar Troika Sister #1, however, I do have to point out that you probably can eat this device, if you break it up and don’t try to chew much. I’m not sure it would be advisable to do so, however!

The state of the fourth estate

Written By: admin - Jun• 18•14

Reporter #1 loves her Wegmans. She says:

Wegmans is #1! Wegmans is #1! Except maybe not? Make your headlines match your graphics, NBC! (If you watch the clip/pay attention to the list, TJ’s is the only truly national chain on the list, which I suspect is why they got the headline, but, dammit, WEGMANS IS #1!)

<takes step away from Reporter #1>

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Actually, I suspect that NBC would probably stand by this one, in that “tops” is one of those useful headline-verbs that doesn’t have to mean “the very tippy-top.” It’s imprecise, of course, but if they’d said “Wegmans and Trader Joe’s top the list,” that would be correct, and expands the definition of “top” somewhat.

That said: Wegmans needs to send Reporter #1 a cookie or something.

Funny story…

Written By: admin - Feb• 17•14

So I had a backlog of submissions again (a tiny one! Send more pictures!) and was scrolling through my emails posting each submission as it came up. Kacia sent this picture, so I downloaded it, like a good little blog-facilitator.

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I don’t mind telling you that I spent a minute looking at this. I enlarged the picture. I squinted. I felt a little slow.

Then I noticed that the subject line in Kacia’s email had an ellipsis, like so: “This is a freezer case…”

And it occurred to me to see if the next email in my inbox STARTED with an ellipsis! And lo! It was so!

In fact, there was a whole explanatory paragraph!

…and its contents, which appear to have been labeled by someone who is unclear on the concept of what “live” means when applied to seafood. (I’ll give them a pass on the abbreviation of dungeon for dungeoness, since that’s fairly clear in context.)

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Whew!

TMI WTH?

Written By: admin - Feb• 14•14

From GTS#1, who says

Filling out some paperwork for my kiddo & found this very confusing. If there WEREN’T complications I should explain, but if there were, I shouldn’t?

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You did better than I did, GTS#1, just getting to that confusing point. I was stuck on whether “After delivery problem with your baby” was even a question, or if it was something more like a Mad Libs prompt. After delivery problem with your baby, you THREW the PIZZA out the PIANO.

Tevye-Grammar

Written By: admin - Jan• 24•14

You know that scene in Fiddler on the Roof where Tevye’s all “On one hand… but on the other hand… but on the other hand…” like a philosophical octopus? This picture reminds me of that.

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The gas stinks. The service… uh… don’t. The grammar, however…

And a tiny little itch in the back of my brain really wants to insert a hyphen in “clean-burning.” But I’ll let that one go.

Thanks, GTS#1!

Friday meditation!

Written By: admin - Dec• 13•13

As I’ve said, I’m willing to give a lot of leeway for translations and writing by non-native speakers. But.

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Thanks for the moment of WHUH, GrammarTroika Sister #1!

October pink violation

Written By: admin - Oct• 23•13

I have issues with the concept of “awareness” as a fundraising goal, especially after everybody is totally aware of the issue. But even if you’re going to argue in favor of awareness, there are legit awareness organizations and less-legit ones.

And then there are people who sell sweatshirts on signs on the highway.

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This is a bad sign in terms of its quality, but I’m pretty sure it’s also a bad sign in terms of where your money is going to go…

The new American dream

Written By: admin - Sep• 09•13

Take it away, GrammarTroika #1!

This story is the embodiment of the American spirit. It is a story of the refusal to back down, despite the odds being stacked against you. Perseverance. Fortitude. An unwavering commitment to good grammar.

For MONTHS, I have been wanting a photo of this banner, but I am usually the driver on this stretch of highway, so no dice. I have even contemplated pulling over just to snap a photo. Alas, I had to just hope and wait for a time when I was not the driver as I passed this banner and would not be risking life and limb (and “cell phone in hand while driving” ticket).

On this past Saturday, FINALLY, I was the passenger! It was an American dream come true. Feast your eyes on this, my patriotic friends.

That’s right folks: Keep American Working!

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