Red Pen Brigade

It’s a free-for-all!

Alden — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:00:49 +0000

Kacia wants you all to take a deep breath and not worry.

I mean, nobody’s getting in trouble for violating parking rules. Not here. So, you know, go crazy!

They coulda been contenders!

Alden — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:00:55 +0000

Colleen exclaims, “We were the best! Now we’re not.”

It’s always so refreshing to see this stuff coming from schools! It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Go ahead, red-pen one!

Alden — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:00:25 +0000

…I mean, they are editable.

Colleen found this in the Deerfield Valley Vermont Blueberry Festival calendar of events. Thanks, Colleen!

Wholesale opportunities

Alden — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:00:05 +0000

I could make several individual posts out of the pictures I took at a single store this weekend. But I won’t, because that feels like cheating. So here we go.

The best part about this one was that it was a copy. They’d copied it and posted it all over one end of the store, an exuberant festival of abused apostrophes and quotation marks.

I’m willing to give points for consistency. If you want to argue that you’re going to just preface every single “s” with an apostrophe — I mean, you’d be wrong, but at least you’d be consistent. Similarly if you argued that pluralization should occur with apostrophes: still wrong, but some points. I’d even accept an (incorrect) argument that nouns that end in the singular with a vowel, like “sample,” require an apostrophe for pluralization, whereas those ending with consonants don’t. But why on earth would you pluralize “sample” and “cap” with an apostrophe and NOT “box”?

For the editor who has everything.

Alden — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:00:38 +0000

So last week, Reporter #1 actually stopped texting me typos and came in corporeal form to visit me. It was very exciting. And although she definitely did not need to do so, she brought me a thank-you card she had made from a typo.

Isn’t it just gorgeous? Have you ever seen a more perfect thank-you card? I was all a-squee. Thanks, Reporter #1!

Easily confused by proximate words?

Alden — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:00:07 +0000

Dave found this in the hard copy of the http://www.usglobalengagement.org/global-plum-book/ .

I guess it’s good enough for government work?

Where’s Typo?

Alden — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 12:00:40 +0000

Lisa sent this, mysteriously captioned only “Look at the tiny sign.”

For your benefit, I have performed a magic, CSI-like zoom for y’all:

Obviously, the problem is that they’re still using videotape, right, Lisa?

Maybe they’re quoting The Robot?

Alden — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:00:54 +0000

John provides some background:

A local road that is under construction has some poorly maintained train tracks at a steep angle to the roadway. Many cyclists have been injured when their bicycle tires get caught in the tracks. Instead of filling the tracks with rubber, allowing trains to use the tracks and cyclists to cross safely, the railroad put up this sign.

Urgh. “Seriously.”

A political liberty

Alden — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:00:28 +0000

I was just thinking that we hadn’t had an abuse of the word “literally” in literally an age. So thank you, Dave!

Dave says:

Congresswoman Ros-Lehtinen has not been spotted on horseback, counting coup on Democrats, as the text might have you believe.

I’d add that “them” is not the pronoun in agreement with “representative,” but I know there are some factions of my readers who would disagree with that assertion.

Swimming in the logic

Alden — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 12:00:59 +0000

I expect few things of a swim cap. I’d like it to keep my hair dry, and, if possible, not to slip off my head while I swim. I wouldn’t ever really have expected one to offer me advice.

But since we’re on the subject… I understand why one wouldn’t want to use sharp objects as fingernails (unless, of course, one were a werewolf or such), but I’m not sure I agree that one doesn’t prefer sharp hairpins.

Props to a giggly Reporter #1.