But how many did he hand out first?

Written By: admin - Feb• 03•14

That’s the real question, GTS#1. How many of these did your husband hand out before he caught it?

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(Yes, this has been heavily altered in Paint, but only to hide relevant info. You’ll just have to take my word for it that David’s company doesn’t have a creepy stretch-face as its logo!)

Wait for it… waiiiit for it…

Written By: admin - Jan• 31•14

GTS#1 accepts no liability for the breakfast beverage you’re about to snort all over your keyboard.

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Happy Friday, y’all!

Fair warning

Written By: admin - Jan• 29•14

Reporter #1 captured this… thing… somewhere. She didn’t provide a lot of detail, either in background or in pixels.

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I’m guessing bumper sticker.

She did, however, provide a lovely transcription:

Retired
No boss
Don’t ask me to do
a dam thing

So waddya want, Reporter #1? You wanna ask him to spell correctly? I dare you.

RUN!

Written By: admin - Jan• 27•14

Kacia sent this in, apparently as a plea for rescue. She captioned this “early morning breakfast with my dad.” It’s a little photographic PTSD capsule reminding me of the years of my life in which piles of snow like that lay in between me and things to eat. And why are you having “breakfast” in the middle of the darkest part of night? Move south, y’all; it’s sunny down here!

2

Ahem.

Anyway. Yes. This is awful.

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I was going to joke that they could save themselves by presenting a mascot-figure in a snazzy suit and name him “Gentleman Fashion.” But then I noticed the misspelling.

I hope it didn’t put you off your grits and co-cola, Kacia. What? You don’t eat grits and co-cola for breakfast up where the snowdrifts are eyebrow-deep?

Tevye-Grammar

Written By: admin - Jan• 24•14

You know that scene in Fiddler on the Roof where Tevye’s all “On one hand… but on the other hand… but on the other hand…” like a philosophical octopus? This picture reminds me of that.

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The gas stinks. The service… uh… don’t. The grammar, however…

And a tiny little itch in the back of my brain really wants to insert a hyphen in “clean-burning.” But I’ll let that one go.

Thanks, GTS#1!

This would have been really interesting, were it what it says it is…

Written By: admin - Jan• 22•14

I will admit that it wasn’t that long ago that I myself didn’t understand this distinction. I did it wrong, in public, and was called on it, and it was embarrassing. But I am not a professional writer.

disinterested

You see, Dear Readers, it turns out that “disinterested” and “uninterested” aren’t actually synonyms. I don’t know what it is about “uninterested.” It just sounds like a fake word to me. So I avoided it, and used the classier-sounding “disinterested” incorrectly.

Now that I know better, I was super-curious about what this article might address. I figured they were asking parents to buy into something and then thinking about fining or otherwise depriving parents who failed to do so. But no.

Focusing on the things you can change

Written By: admin - Jan• 08•14

Ben submits this recent Republican talking-points memo for your enjoyment.

I love that Ben made it all the way to the last paragraph before he found the thing that really made him mad: the apostrophe abuse.

fullmemo

I’d also like to say some stuff about correlation not equaling causation, especially in something as time-delayed and complex as unemployment rates, but… I don’t want to harsh my Wednesday mellow.

Thanks, Ben!

Facebook BREAKING NEWS

Written By: admin - Dec• 16•13

Reporter #1 says this is a cute game that’s lousy at punctuation.

SnailBob

I think phone-games are right up there with Facebook on the “Don’t expect anything” scale, Reporter #1. But you keep on with your optimism.

Friday meditation!

Written By: admin - Dec• 13•13

As I’ve said, I’m willing to give a lot of leeway for translations and writing by non-native speakers. But.

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Thanks for the moment of WHUH, GrammarTroika Sister #1!

WEeeeeeeeird!

Written By: admin - Dec• 10•13

Something weird happened to me yesterday.

First I got an email from Kacia. Kacia has earned her RPB Badge many times over, so this was obviously getting posted.

Kacia

Oh, Target. How many ways is this wrong? The word you’re abbreviating is “until,” so there’s no need to add an extra “l” when you abbreviate it. I’ll let the backwards single-quote function as an apostrophe because there’s no point in getting too technical when you’re going to do stuff that stupid. And then, of course, there’s… whatever is going on up top there. You’re missing an apostrophe in “time’s,” and even if we allow the lack of capitalization because you’re being artsy, the colloquialism you were looking for is a-ticking (or, one might argue, a-tickin’) and not… whatever that dot is.

YARRRRRGH.

Then! This is the weird part! Moments later, I got a text. At first I thought Kacia had gone all overboard and REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted me to post this, but then I realized it was actually from Q! But it is subtly different!

Rayanne

I will tell you that my head nearly asplode with the “tictac,” because that was all I could see in my text software. At first I thought they’d decided to Frenchify the common “tick-tock,” or else it was some kind of subliminal breath mint advertising (do they still make those things? they were gross). But when I scrolled down and saw the Spanish below I figured they probably just decided to translate it funny. Because the English doesn’t say “Tick-tock. Tick-tock.” It says “We don’t know how to use apostrophes, and we’re trying to use a colloquial construction but haven’t quite let go of our fondness of the letter ‘g.'”

Perhaps they couldn’t figure out how to say all that in Spanish?

Thanks, Kacia and Q!