Is consistency so much to ask for?

Written By: admin - Feb• 07•14

I just want rules, man. I don’t care so much what the rules are; I just want them to exist and command respect.

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Dave Barry once postulated that apostrophes were designed to alert us all to the fact that an “s” was coming up. I’m fine with that. Let’s do it. Let’s ju’st all do it con’si’stently.

Thank’s, GT’S#1!

Little kids eat ivy.

Written By: admin - Feb• 05•14

Apparently kids also exchange.

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Susan W.-in-DC (I realized I have two Susan W. friends!) found this on a list of corporate logo fails. It is indeed company policy; here’s the website:

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Thanks, Susan!

But how many did he hand out first?

Written By: admin - Feb• 03•14

That’s the real question, GTS#1. How many of these did your husband hand out before he caught it?

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(Yes, this has been heavily altered in Paint, but only to hide relevant info. You’ll just have to take my word for it that David’s company doesn’t have a creepy stretch-face as its logo!)

Wait for it… waiiiit for it…

Written By: admin - Jan• 31•14

GTS#1 accepts no liability for the breakfast beverage you’re about to snort all over your keyboard.

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Happy Friday, y’all!

Fair warning

Written By: admin - Jan• 29•14

Reporter #1 captured this… thing… somewhere. She didn’t provide a lot of detail, either in background or in pixels.

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I’m guessing bumper sticker.

She did, however, provide a lovely transcription:

Retired
No boss
Don’t ask me to do
a dam thing

So waddya want, Reporter #1? You wanna ask him to spell correctly? I dare you.

RUN!

Written By: admin - Jan• 27•14

Kacia sent this in, apparently as a plea for rescue. She captioned this “early morning breakfast with my dad.” It’s a little photographic PTSD capsule reminding me of the years of my life in which piles of snow like that lay in between me and things to eat. And why are you having “breakfast” in the middle of the darkest part of night? Move south, y’all; it’s sunny down here!

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Ahem.

Anyway. Yes. This is awful.

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I was going to joke that they could save themselves by presenting a mascot-figure in a snazzy suit and name him “Gentleman Fashion.” But then I noticed the misspelling.

I hope it didn’t put you off your grits and co-cola, Kacia. What? You don’t eat grits and co-cola for breakfast up where the snowdrifts are eyebrow-deep?

Tevye-Grammar

Written By: admin - Jan• 24•14

You know that scene in Fiddler on the Roof where Tevye’s all “On one hand… but on the other hand… but on the other hand…” like a philosophical octopus? This picture reminds me of that.

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The gas stinks. The service… uh… don’t. The grammar, however…

And a tiny little itch in the back of my brain really wants to insert a hyphen in “clean-burning.” But I’ll let that one go.

Thanks, GTS#1!

This would have been really interesting, were it what it says it is…

Written By: admin - Jan• 22•14

I will admit that it wasn’t that long ago that I myself didn’t understand this distinction. I did it wrong, in public, and was called on it, and it was embarrassing. But I am not a professional writer.

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You see, Dear Readers, it turns out that “disinterested” and “uninterested” aren’t actually synonyms. I don’t know what it is about “uninterested.” It just sounds like a fake word to me. So I avoided it, and used the classier-sounding “disinterested” incorrectly.

Now that I know better, I was super-curious about what this article might address. I figured they were asking parents to buy into something and then thinking about fining or otherwise depriving parents who failed to do so. But no.

Focusing on the things you can change

Written By: admin - Jan• 08•14

Ben submits this recent Republican talking-points memo for your enjoyment.

I love that Ben made it all the way to the last paragraph before he found the thing that really made him mad: the apostrophe abuse.

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I’d also like to say some stuff about correlation not equaling causation, especially in something as time-delayed and complex as unemployment rates, but… I don’t want to harsh my Wednesday mellow.

Thanks, Ben!

Facebook BREAKING NEWS

Written By: admin - Dec• 16•13

Reporter #1 says this is a cute game that’s lousy at punctuation.

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I think phone-games are right up there with Facebook on the “Don’t expect anything” scale, Reporter #1. But you keep on with your optimism.