Time travel? Joseph Gordon-Levitt growing up into Bruce Willis? Okay, I’m on board. I’m all about suspension of disbelief. But I can’t QUITE shake the suspicion that what they wanted here was “loopers’ guns,” since we know there are “many” loopers and since the one we see depositing a gun is, well, only depositing A gun.

PLEASE TELL ME THAT IN THE FUTURE YOU GET TIME-TRAVEL-ASSASSINATED FOR ABUSING APOSTROPHES.

Oh hai Sony. You have me a mite worried.

This evening, Reporter #1′s 8-year-old  7-and-a-half-year-old (sorry! I do words, not math!), CubReporter, bellowed from the bathroom while she was brushing her teeth.

Are you not just DYING? I have been waiting for this day since, well, since August 25 of 2009.  And yes, this error is all over Crest’s website, too.

*Of course I also have to point out that while this might have been the first error she identified herself, this is actually not CubReporter’s first appearance on this blog, as both her lovely mug and her less-lovely ceramic mug appeared here in January of last year.

A few days later, Colleen forwarded this with delight.  Well, delight at her husband, I mean, not delight at the typo, and probably not delight at mega-grocery store Albertsons.  And while we’re on the subject, Albertsons — your “about” page informs me that you were founded by Joe Albertson, and that makes me suspect that you probably want an apostrophe IN YOUR OWN NAME, but OKAY.

And just a day later, Colleen sent this, which she received from her sister.  The whole family is vigilant!

CHALLENGE:  How many wrong examples of this can YOU find today, Dear Reader?

BLOG NOTE:  I’m working overnights.  I won’t say I’m in a permanently bad mood, but I’m permanently confused about days and times.  Posts may be sparse until my next shift rotation…

But seriously, folks, what gives?  Does one need to use a possessive with restrooms or not?  I’d find “Men Restroom” awkward in a vacuum, but when paired with “Womens Restroom,” which appears to be possessive, if incorrectly punctuated, it’s just too confusing for this early in the morning.

But… is “fish bate” a thing?  See, it was definitely advertised as if it were a thing to eat, so it isn’t “bait” misspelled.  And I have no other idea what it could be.   Pâté?

Here, I’ll show you.  Let’s use this lovely little globe as an example.

Go go Middle East Zoom!

My expert analysis:

1.  FAKE.

2. Fakers had no spellcheck on their computers?  As far as I’m aware, neither “Isreal” nor “Jordon” is a real word.  Does nobody notice the squiggly red lines??

“I’m working on a sign for the front door so people know they can come in here even during the festival.”

“Oh.  Hey, I think you need an apostrophe in ‘Tuesdays.’”

“Really?  Huh.  Okay.  I guess I’ll add one right… here.”

For your consideration, the wrapper of the cheese I found at Kroger.

Ahem.

…If it had anymore than it’s 75% butterfat, it would technically be better.

Now I’m not at all going to argue that more butterfat will most probably make anything better.  That seems obvious.

But check this out!  Mere inches away, I found this sign.

I can only surmise that the wrapper was written first, and the sign is the product of a revision by an Honorary RPB Member.  Look at the masterful use of dashes and semicolons!  As well as, you know, a basic understanding of the difference between contractions and possessives.

Actually, you won’t.  I can provide some evidence.  You can also just click through above to the website and see for yourself…

Plus, I’ve written about them before.  REPEAT OFFENDERS.